Your Mac is bloated. Let it rip.
MacFart is the tiny menu-bar app that watches your RAM, names the worst offenders by name, and when it matters responds with a cheeky little puff. Your laptop has feelings now. Mostly gas.
macOS 13+ · Apple Silicon or Intel · less than a scented candle
Fartify
The community jukebox.
Paid lifetime members upload farts. You audition them here and click to drop any into your Mac app. It's a mixtape, but wetter.
| # | Title | Creator | Length | Plays▼ | Added | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | No. 8 · The Finale | @macfart | 0:03 | 1562 | 8h | ↗ |
| 2 | No. 3 · The Trumpet | @macfart | 0:02 | 1204 | 3h | ↗ |
| 3 | No. 4 · The Thunder | @macfart | 0:02 | 988 | 4h | ↗ |
| 4 | No. 1 · The Puff | @macfart | 0:01 | 842 | 1h | ↗ |
| 5 | No. 6 · The Commentator | @macfart | 0:03 | 721 | 6h | ↗ |
| 6 | No. 2 · The Whisper | @macfart | 0:01 | 612 | 2h | ↗ |
| 7 | No. 5 · The Squeaker | @macfart | 0:01 | 404 | 5h | ↗ |
| 8 | No. 7 · The Ripple | @macfart | 0:01 | 317 | 7h | ↗ |
Tune it to taste
Dial in your fart.
Same controls that ship inside the app. Drag these around, it's literally the Detection tab. Find your vibe before you install.
Also it does
These things too.
Menu bar only
No dock icon. No window on launch. Just a quiet 💨 that watches.
Smart banners
Pops a named card for the worst RAM hogs. You pick how often.
Bring your own farts
Record live or drop a .wav / .m4a / .mp3. Mixes straight into the rotation.
Prank Mode
Random puffs at random intervals. Your coworker will love you.
Activity Log
Every fart, every process, every second, timestamped.
Launch at login
Always ready. Always listening. Respectfully.
Three themes
System, Ember (dark), and Paper (light). Themed down to the banner.
Scales with force
The worse the memory pressure, the more… expressive… the sound.
Community farts
v1.2: browse a free marketplace of puffs. Share yours, pull in others.
Roadmap
Where it's heading.
Shipped first, promised later. Everything below is real, not a pitch deck, not a VC slide, not a crypto whitepaper.
- v1.0shipping
The Ember release
Menu-bar RAM watch, full sound pack, three themes, banners + cooldowns, Prank Mode, Activity Log, custom sound import + live recording. Already on your friend's Mac.
- v1.1next
Shareable reels
One-tap export of a short MP4 showing your last puff + the process that caused it. Built for going viral on company time.
- v1.2shipping
Fartify — the community jukebox
Paid members upload their own farts, the rest of us swipe them into our rotation. Browse trending + fresh + top 100 from the marketing site, open in MacFart with a click. Lives here already.
- v2.0dreamzone
iOS edition
Same energy, pocket-sized. When your iPhone gets toasty, it reacts. When your battery hits 10%, it sighs.
Pricing
Cheaper than the candle that tries to mask it.
One-time payment. No subscription, no newsletter, no Premium Plus tier, no data collection, no guilt. Pay once, puff forever.
Lifetime updates · full sound pack · Custom Sounds + community farts on the way.
macOS 13+ · Apple Silicon or Intel.
No free trial · No refunds, ever
But make a Reel and we'll pay you up to 100% back.
Live activity
Currently puffing worldwide.
Right this second, somewhere on a planet of 8 billion people, somebody else is reading this exact page. Below, on a globe. We promise we don't know their name — just their city and which browser they're on.
Be the first marker on the globe.
Anonymous and reaped after 24h. We hash your IP before storing it, we don't drop a cookie, and there's nothing here you can fingerprint.
Stealth mode
The prank that takes three days to land.
Buy MacFart for a friend disguised as a tidy little memory monitor. For three days they'll think you got them something thoughtful. On day three, the truth arrives at full volume.
They install RAM Monitor.
A clean menu-bar memory monitor, nothing more. No fart icon, no fart sound, no MacFart anywhere. Just RAM bars and a tidy little chip glyph.
Without warning…
A surprise sheet. Three farts in quick succession. The disguise melts. Their menu bar puffs out a tiny green cloud they did not order.
It's MacFart now.
The icon flips. The sounds stay. They will laugh, swear, take a screenshot, and forward it to you. The transaction is complete.
Gift purchase
One key. One Mac. Three days of plausible deniability.
We email them an activation key for "RAM Monitor". They install it like a normal utility. The 3-day timer starts when they activate, not when you pay — so the prank lands on the third day they actually use their Mac.
Receipt and Stripe page say "RAM Monitor" — the surprise survives.
The fine print
Questions you didn't know you had. Answers.
Is this a joke?+
Yes, and it runs in 80 MB of RAM. Both things can be true.
Will it slow my Mac down?+
No. MacFart checks your RAM once every few seconds, weighs less than a Chrome tab, and spends the rest of its life asleep.
Does it actually free RAM?+
Yep. It can trigger a memory purge (with your permission) and one-tap-quit the worst offenders. Same macOS tools you already have, just one click away.
Will my coworkers hear it?+
Only if you let them. Volume is yours to set, Silent Mode kills audio entirely, and Prank Mode is 100% opt-in. No accidental office moments.
Can I add my own sounds?+
Yes. Record straight into MacFart or drop a .wav / .m4a / .mp3 from Finder, imports sit next to the built-in pack and join the rotation instantly.
Wait, a marketplace?+
Coming in v1.2. Export any sound you made, share it with a friend (or the world), and pull in community-made farts for free. No creators getting rich here. Just farts.
Is there a free trial?+
No. Watch the sound tester a floor up, listen to two samples, then commit. It's $6.90, roughly the cost of the worst flat white in your neighbourhood.
Refunds?+
No refunds. Ever. We'd rather pay you to post a Reel, if one hits 2,000 views we give 50% back, 20,000 views gets you the full $6.90. The discount page has the details.
Why does this exist?+
Because "force-quit Google Chrome" shouldn't be the most emotional part of your Tuesday.